Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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