i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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