just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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