Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
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