I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
