So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
