conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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