Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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