i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
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