Quick, to the slutcave!
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
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