Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
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