the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
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