id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
