I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
