Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize