Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
