I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
