When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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