what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
It's shark week go big or go home
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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