I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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