There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
