The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
