Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
