i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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