Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I just blew my weed a kiss
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Randomize
