dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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