come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
