I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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