My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
