So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Randomize