Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
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