He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
