ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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