It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
