He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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