there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
