The maid of honor just puked.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Randomize
