Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
