i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
