You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
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