just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
