you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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