My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
whose parrot is this?
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
