im gay
i know
yea but for you.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Randomize
