I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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