Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
