Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
