The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
porn star boner night. come get it.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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