Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Randomize
