Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
