Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Randomize
