They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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