the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
