i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
