Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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