Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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