Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
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