let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
