Me. At least after what I've been through.
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
