oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
